Even if it was 40 below out there, I sweated a lot clearing the snow. I put on more deodorant and a fresh shirt and sweater. Grabbing my keys, I trotted next door. It was colder than a witch’s tit outside. My granddad would say, “Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.” Not sure if that’s true or not, but by damn it was cold. My breath came in white clouds and my lungs hurt by the time I got to Molly’s door. I didn’t even knock and she opened the door. Warmth, light, music and voices tumbled out the door. Everyone from the apartment complex was there. They all grinned, waving at me, yelling “SURPRISE!”
Admittedly, it was. I thought maybe Molly and Jesse would make me dinner or something. I didn’t expect something like this. Laughing like an idiot, I walked in. My neighbors clapped me on the back, wishing me the best. There must have been at least 20 people there. I gave Molly and Jesse each a big hug and a kiss.
“Thank you,” I murmured. “This is the best birthday party I ever had.”
I swear to God, I wanted to cry. My own family was calling, giving me shit and a whole bunch of people I wasn’t even related to, gave me the best party of my life. We were all drinking like crazy. What the hell, no one had to drive home. They sang Happy Birthday, a whole lot better than my mother, and everyone was genuinely interested in me. I think that was the best part. It was all about me, not my brother, with a side order of Ma. And nobody gave two shits it was Halloween. I couldn’t remember another time that had happened in my entire life.
After the cake and ice cream, I thought we were all done until two of the women went in the bedroom and started bringing out presents. I was stunned. I never saw so many gifts—even at my bar mitzvah. Molly brought out a camera and took pictures while one of the other neighbors kept up a running description for Jesse. These folks hadn’t scrimped on presents either. I got DVD’s, books, CD’s, some of them got together and bought me an e-book reader loaded with all kinds of books with credit for more.
By this time, I was feeling the tears burn my eyes. I made the excuse I had to go to the head and went in there for a quiet cry. I didn’t actually cry full on, but I got those sobbing hiccups and squeezed out a tear or two. Once I was back in control, I went back out where I was greeted like a long lost hero.
One of the guys plied me with alcohol while two of the women sat on either side of me, kissing me in more than a friendly fashion. I knew this kind of action wasn’t gonna sit well with Molly, so I suggested to the women that we take it next door. They offered to help carry my gifts over for me.
Before I knew it, it was me and at least two women in the middle of my bed. Then again, it could have been me and one very aggressive woman, cause I was pretty drunk by that time and couldn’t exactly see straight. I’m not sure who that chick was, but damn! She loved me six ways until Sunday! I might not remember who she was, but I sure remembered the crazy, sorta kinky things we did that night. They will go down in my memories outstanding sexual moments for damn sure!
She was gone by the time I woke up the next day. I was damn glad it was Saturday, cause I’d slept until noon. Realizing that I’d missed my grocery date with Molly and Jesse, I got up and showered. In the kitchen, I found a note from the mystery lady taped to the fridge.
“Mike, I had a great time last night! Wow, who knew you were so much fun? Sorry to skip out like this, but I have to work today. Let’s get together and do this again sometime, huh? Call me! XOXOXO” And no name.
I swore. A lot. I couldn’t remember who she was and she hadn’t left her name or number. So unless she initiated something again, I wasn’t ever gonna find out—unless Molly told me. Which she might or might not do. I knew she wouldn’t approve of how I behaved. She’s pretty religious and I had overstepped those rigorous guidelines just by kissing that girl in front of her. Knowing that I’d had sex with a woman I didn’t remember would probably send her through the roof! I know I’m Jewish, but my Ma was raised Catholic. So I had a pretty good idea I had just stepped onto the threshold of Purgatory and my other foot was hovering over Hell. Not a pretty way to wake up the day after my birthday.
I called Molly to see when she wanted to grocery shop.
“Anytime you’re ready, sweetheart. I didn’t figure you’d be in any shape, so I slept in myself.”
“Hell of a great party, Molly. Thank you. I never had such a good time.”
“Really?” She sounded surprised.
“Gabe’s the golden child. His birthdays were always special. Mine were Halloween parties with birthday cupcakes. They were fun, but he got all the best stuff.”
© Dellani Oakes 2014